Authenticity is a tricky bastard. Because there is a fine line between lying/being inauthentic and exercising your right to privacy. Sometimes I can’t tell which I’m doing. I’d like to believe more often then not I’m doing the latter. Especially at work.
When signing all the paperwork on my first day there was a sheet where I was supposed to write any medical conditions I have along with an emergency contact. I was taken aback. Never in my years of working have I been asked to disclose anything like that and in the past I wouldn’t have had to write anything since I wasn’t diagnosed until this summer.
Obviously things are different now. I have a diagnosis, a medical condition that I could have written down but I didn’t. Was this an act of lying or exercising my right to privacy? Was it really necessary to write ‘Anorexia Nervosa’ on a piece of paper for everyone with access to my paperwork to see?
After going back and forth in my head about my possible motivation for not disclosing I came to the conclusion that it was with good intent. It didn’t stem from a place of shame. I’m not embarrassed to tell them.
The fact of the matter is there are a select few people that need to know about my eating disorder and at this time with where I am in my recovery my co workers don’t need to know. If at some point I relapse or I begin to spiral out of control and need to enter a higher level of care then I will reevaluate how much I need to disclose.
But for now I feel good and confident that not sharing this part of medical history at work was a recovery focused decision. A decision that I am proud of. I skated the fine line and ended up on the right side of recovery. The side that aligns with my values and the person I want to be. Me and authenticity are becoming the best of friends and I kinda like it!